PEOPLE!

New Neighbor Guy likes to leave his full trash bags outside his door in the hallway, so everyone else can see and smell it. 
If you don't wanna leave it sitting on the tiled kitchen floor in YOUR apartment because of the smell.What  makes you think I wanna see or smell it on the CARPETED common area hallway floor.You know that there is drippy liquid in that trash bag.
First the discarded mail on the floor. Now this.
Who is the FUNGUS of a person.

i've smelt some things...

This is a rather short note of a post.
It smells like somebody in our apartment complex is washing shit stained underpants or diapers in the community washing machine. 
it is smells so bad some times that even I gag.(like today)
Dear Dumb Ass Shit Crappers,Rinse your shit stained crap bags before you put them in a machine that other people use!
 Are you just washing a load of shit??
Here let me take a shit in all my pants and wash them.Who the fuck does that!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD!!!
I guess my mother actually taught me wrong and right?Or how not to be a fuck hole?
COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Also there is a new bunny comic up!www.idrawbunnies.com
(it seems that I rant a bunch.)

Neighborly Advice

We have a new neighbor again. The nice quiet couple across the hall moved out several months ago. Now we have an Egyptian / Jewish looking guy.
He likes to talk really loudly on the phone in the hallway and slam doors.
He has yet to put his name on his mailbox.Which I guess means he doesn't intend to receive mail.
Including all the junk mail that came to his mailbox.He took it upon himself  to sort out mail not addressed to HIS NAME,So he started throwing it on the floor.
At first it was a few Bed Bath and Beyond coupons. About a week ago Marine had noticed a Bed Bath and Beyond Coupon outside on the steps.She placed it back inside.It was not addressed to us. Yet we did not want trash blowing around our lovely courtyard.
Then it was the weekly coupons and junk being piled up underneath the mailbox.
After a small pile had compiled. (hahah pile joke)This guy placed the pile outside on the front steps!He continued to do such sucky things.
Marine came home yesterday and exclaimed,"I'm going to go ahead and assume our new neighbor is an asshole."
So she told me about the pile that had been growing.I looked and it was like a grocery bag full of papers and ads.
Later in the evening as we were trying to nap. We heard the Maintenance Man (hereby referred to as MM) knocking on his door.
MM told him to stop putting his mail on the stoop outside.
The guy had the nerve to tell MM that it was NOT HIS MAIL.MM basically laughed and said, "Don't lie to me."
I am fairly certain that new guy even tried to blame it on me!Which MM nicely defended with, "He wouldn't do that. Look, I know the address. It says it on the mail.Just knock it off."
The new guy defeated, apologized and offered to clean it up.
WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY!
You DO NOT  put junk mail on the floor underneath the mailbox in the common area.You DO NOT place pile of junk outside in the elements when it becomes to large!
Obviously this guys parents didn't teach him common sense things.
THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA.
Some body else isn't gonna deal with it man!
YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT YOURSELF!
How hard is it to take the junk mail and place it in recycling?
What a fucking ass nut. 
 

WTF

So apparently NPR reported a couple weeks ago about how our water levels around here contained extreme amounts of contaminants and such of things like fluoride and so on.
Not only was NPR asked to take down the article from online. But the government apparently changed the law to allow .1 parts per million, compared to the .01 part per million or what ever it was beforehand.
So Kilian was right. We shouldn't be drinking the water.  

Thanks to Marine's doctor for the heads up.
It's time to start my Awesome Water Bottling Company.


PS. A good source to check out is the EPA's website... they tell you why unnecessary things like Fluoride are added to our drinking water. Some of their water treatment standards haven't been changed since the 90s!

Dear Netflix (again)

This is another open letter to Netflix.
Dear Netflix,
For just about a month now (Since we dropped the DVD service) We have had some trouble with an error code.
At First the error code happened from time to time.Each day this week I have signed on to Netflix. I have tried playing multiple titles.Nothing loads or plays.Then when I exit and go back into Netflix it gives me the error code. " Xbox Error Code 1."
PC LOAD LETTER! WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN! (from Office Space)
Online Forums say that both Netflix and Xbox take No responsibility for the Error Code.
I should not have to delete and re install Netflix everyday so I can watch my shows. I am paying for a service that your company is not providing.It is fucking stupid.
I should not have to Activate my device every single fucking day.
Netflix can suck a giant floppy donkey dong.
I am one Error Code message away from switching to Hulu. ( I am super cereal about that )
With Loving Hatred,Shawn Hill

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The following  2 television advertisements piss me off. 
But Why Shawn?Why would you be pissed off at TV commercials?
I am pissed off because the songs in these commercials get stuck in my head.
But Shawn, you love the Dixie Plate Commericial.
Yes I do. But that jingle was good! It is great. Sung well. Recorded well. Produced Well.
These 2 "jingles" are so bad,  they actually work so well... and I HATE IT!
While I am trying to sleep. When I wake up. In the shower. At Work!!EVEN WALKING DOWN THE FRIGGIN STREET!!!!!
These terrible "jingles" are stuck in my brain!They are driving me insane.
Target

Damn you Target. I actually like your 2nd Grade Teacher Ad. So you're not all bad. But still annoying like randomly ringing church bells on Friday mornings.
Resolve

This is so bad. so so so so bad. Who in the hell gave the go to this commercial. It is terrible.Editing. Sound. Did an intern make this?Please lick the floor of the restroom.You guys get out stains, so stick to that.Because it's obvious you don't know how to make a television commercial without being lame and annoying.
Moving on.
Shame on your advertising department Target and Resolve.Shame on you for creating such perfect brain melting atrociousness.  You are On my List of 100 People / Groups of People I wanna slap in the face.



Addendum by Marine: I thought it would be appropriate to add that there's one commercial on my can't-stand-it list and it's that Old Navy commercial for the long and lean flares. The song gets stuck in my head All.The.Time. Also, the commercial doesn't make any sense! Why are they bowling in platform shoes?! They're going to hurt themselves! Then it won't matter how 'long' and 'lean' their legs look in their jeans, because they'll be on the ground, and their jeans will probably be ripped. That's all.

Dear Netflix

Yesterday Netflix stepped over the line, and created a blatant foul.  
Netflix walked right into our homes and bitch slapped us right in the face.(We stood there and wondered who is this guy in a suit?)
Netflix announced Wednesday  that they will be increasing the cost of the DVD rental service.
Currently Marine and I have the 1 DVD at a time with Unlimited Streaming for 9.99 a month.
When we first signed up Netflix offered the combo package for 8.99 a month.
I guess the $1 increase on millions of customers didn't help them out.
WTF?
So now they are offering DVD rentals and Streaming  as separate services.
each at $7.99
16 bucks now??? 
HELL NO!!
Like many other pissed off people in America, I plan on dropping the DVD option ASAP.
Not because we can't afford it. Just because Netflix does not deserve more of my money for offering me the same thing.
Why would you try to "fix" something if it wasn't broken?
I guess the CEO of Netflix wants a new private bathroom attendant to wipe his ass for him.
Good Show Old Chap. Good Show.
 - The flowing is my open internet letter to Netflix -
Dear Netflix,
You are greedy fucking whore monsters.
                             From the desk of:                                   President Shawn Hill

College Girl's "F**K List"

I am not a conservative person. I like to "cut it loose" every once in a while. But I do believe we, as humans, should have a code of ethics. I thought radio and television use to abide by a code of ethics.

RTNDA - CODE OF ETHICS

One of the problems in America is the lack of ETHICS.

The following link is a perfect example of a lack of ethics.

The article is about a "project" that a Duke College Student worked on during her time at school.

"The F**K List"

http://jezebel.com/5652114/college-girls-power-point-fuck-list-goes-viral-gallery?skyline=true&s=i

When Marine showed me this article the other morning  I was livid.

 I was so ticked off, way to ticked off for that early in the morning.

 I just couldn't believe some one could be so full of themselves to do such a thing. 

The first thing that annoys me is that this girl is a WHORE.

What self respecting woman would do this???

I know that the porn industry makes tons of money each  year,

 and that people have multiple sex partners.

But that is THEIR private information.

Your sex life should not be displayed for anyone,

unless you plan to make money off of it.

aka.. the porn industry. 

and those people know exactly what they are doing.

So the fact that she did this with all athletes and possible future stars makes this girl a WHORE.

 She slept with that many people for the sake of making money.

I do not buy the fact she did this for her future lower class mates / sorority gal pals.

this WHORE did this project to get MONEY. 

She knew full well that in this depraved society, some dirt bag publisher would publish her "book".

America eats this shit up like sugar. She saw a business plan and went with it.

(which I have to admire, cause that is the American Spirit )

But the facts stand. The girl is a WHORE for attention and money.

I wonder what her parents think of her.  

Her father must be so proud that his hard earned money was spent on such a "project".

Im sure in the local supermarket all the other housewives snicker at Mrs. "Fuck List". 

They laugh and say things like, "There goes the mother of "that" whore from Duke."

I'm sure this is not what the girls parents had in mind when they sent their little girl away to DUKE. 

DUKE, though you may be one of those top schools...it seems your students are taking way too much advantage of "student life" and not their academic studies.

I'm sure this activity violates your school's code of ethics that most college students sign at the beginning of their college career. (Remember that giant stack of forms you filled out?)

I'm sure that there are some people out there, who actually go to college to learn something.

But it seems like over-all, "social networking" and partying take priority to actual schooling.

For example, just the other day at my friend's house, a student at one of the local colleges went to class after having 3 gin and tonics and who knows how many beers. 

 Oh, and she drove there.

These college "kids" aren't all that smart as they??

I just think America needs to stop buying into the illusions. 

Our children are doing things that are fucking themselves up at college.
Mentally and Physically. 

My good friend who went to a Tech School in Florida got himself messed up on Pain Killers. 

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH OUR YOUTH??

We send our kids to school for education and this is the kind of stuff that happens.

We have allowed media and advertising to do this to us. 

The hype machine says, "this is cool" or "this is how you make quick money." 

and the people do it.

Just like this whore from Duke.

Again. Let's thank Alcohol for turning our nation's little girls into Dirty Whores.

I hope she gets a big book deal. 

So she can get sued for all that she is worth. 

I  am just so angry about this!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"The Happy Meal"

While on yahoo.com I came across this article about a project. 

This project, which is also an experiment, is being performed by New Yorker Sally Davies. 

The importance of this project can only compare to "the original fast food test":

 Placing a tooth in a dish of Coca Cola Classic. 

We all know that Coca Cola Classic dissolves your teeth after prolonged exposure. 

Coca Cola Classic destroys enamel, which CAN NOT regenerate.

At least, that is what the dentists say,

 So that they can sell you Enamel Protecting Tooth Paste.

But those of us who enjoy Coca Cola don't really care. 

People all over the world still love the Tooth Decaying Tastiness that is Coca Cola Classic. 

Don't worry Pepsi, I enjoy your fine Cola product as well. 

I'm certain that your Cola can dissolve teeth just as well as Coke's can.

But wait!

Now there is a new "study" that we should take some interest in.

Sally Davies has currently been photographing a McDonald's happy meal for 180 consecutive days. 

She has let this happy meal sit out in her living space.

 Each day taking a photo of it. 

Watching it.

Waiting.

(This is the Flickr Album where you can find her photos of the project.)


But what has she found out from her project so far?

"The only change that I can see is that it has become hard as a rock," Davies told the U.K. Daily Mail. 

 "The food is plastic to the touch and has an acrylic sheen to it."

This woman Sally Davies has opened a door!

 I wonder if she was trying to open this door.

Because this says VOLUMES about what the McDonalds Company has become.

To think that this food substance does not naturally break down...

What kind of chemicals and preservatives are they putting into this so called "Happy Meal",

in order for NO mold to grow on it?

What startles me most is that Mcdonalds serves this product to our world's children.

Think about all the uwanted and uneaten portions being thrown away. 

Those french fries,

and plastic cups,

 and cardboard burger boxes,

 and semi eaten "hamburger" patties,

not to mention all the broken stupid plastic toys, 

that will end up sitting in a dump somewhere.
clearly not decaying.

Is this really a "Happy Meal"?

A monkey can shit something more appetizing than that crap.

 I finally know why it gives me diarrhea... 

my body is trying to expel it from my system as fast as it can!

The human body is smart enough to recognize that McDonalds "food" is not real.

That, my friends, does not make for a "Happy Meal".

 NOT AT ALL.

Confirmed Suspicions

We all know that squirrels from New Jersey can beat the acorns out of squirrels from Delaware. However! The squirrels from Pennsylvainia seem to be smarter than both the squirrels from New Jersey and Delaware, even if you combined the brain power of the two.

Really? Just how smart are these squirrels?
These squirrels are smart enough to out smart a human being AND countless hours of human engineering.

The human being is our neighbor across the hall.
The human engineering is the squirrel trap. (Which was probably made in China...) (...do they even have squirrels in China?)

A week or two ago now, our neighbors put some lovely flowers out on the front stoop.
Since it is Autumn, the squirrels have been going wild.
The foraging season IS upon us and the squirrels have begun fattening up for the winter.

Our neighbor's lovely flowers are in a plastic planter...
   The squirrels have been foraging in this planter....
      Leaving an even pile of dirt all around the outside of the planter.

The flowers have not been harmed.
The squirrels are making a bit of a mess, but squirrels will be squirrels.

Four days ago a large rodent trap appeared inside the entry way to our apartments.
I wondered to myself if we had a rat problem... I have not seen any giant rats. Hm.

The next day the same trap was outside...    armed with peanuts...     ready to snare its prey....

Later in the day the trap had been triggered and there were no peanuts to be found.
Remnants of shells could be seen around the trap and on the front stoop.

For the next 4 days i wondered who placed the trap out there.
At night it was kept in the entry way, but during the day it was kept outside.

I used my deductive reasoning and the scientific method and assumed it was the neighbors, angry at the mess the squirrels have been making of their lovely flowers.

Dramatization

I ruled out the maintenance man; I've seen him chase the squirrels off, make noises at them, and squirt the garden hose at them, but he doesn't seem to want to cause any harm to the squirrels. He and the squirrels have probably formed a few games over the years.

Also, he seems to have no interest or time for trapping squirrels. and 1 trap is not enough to capture a whole herd of ravenous psycho killer squirrels in the courtyard.

ravenous psycho killer squirrel

Today = Confirmation

Today, I saw the determination of our neighbor.
Today the trap was set earlier and triggered.
An hour ago I actually saw him RESETTING the trap.

These squirrels have figured out how to hustle peanuts from this guy!
They knock over the trap - guy puts more tasty peanuts in. EASY!

This guy is basically giving the squirrels a treat.  
Even though the peanuts are a change from the many acorns falling from the trees,
these squirrels have plenty of food to pick from on the ground.
Why would they enter some bright shiny sliver thing just for some peanuts of death?

No matter what this guy does,
A squirrel is gonna do, what a squirrel is gonna do. 

This guy needs to let his anger out in a different way.
Stop worrying about these squirrels and the tiny mess they make.
Worrying gives you cancer.

Besides, where are you going to release the squirrel once you trap it? 

Out back?? 

Where it can then easily climb onto the roof and back over into the court yard.

Thank you neighbor guy for keeping me thoroughly amused.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I am extremely aggravated.

I am sick of being ripped off!

Companies charge way to much for their services!

COMCAST knows that you want cable tv and internet.

VERIZON knows that you want a cell phone.

They offer so many friggin add on bullshit HD things and music stations that I DON'T NEED!

AND my VERIZON bill changes monthly depending if they wanna jack up my fees or taxes.

FUCK YOU CORPORATE AMERICA!

You are stealing my money because you are a bunch of greedy fucks.

Why don't you offer your services for prices that make some sense!

Not $99 for a year. then $119 for the next year of a two year contract, that you didn't know you were getting. THEN they charge you a fee for canceling after the promo period because you don't wanna pay $129 a month for tv/phone/internet.

These fucking companies have MILLIONS of customers.

Even if they just charged $75 dollars for the # services. TIMES 1 million!

That's 75 million Dollars.

THIS IS AMERICA!

OFFER your fucking services for a reasonable amount.

STOP spending so much money on advertising. ( your stupid names sell them selves)

or you force people into getting your service when you move to an apartment complex that is already hooked up by you company.

So I don't even have a choice to get anything else??????

THANKS for eliminating my ability to make decisions and chose the product that I want!

I thought this was AMERICA! NOT RED RUSSIA! you friggin Commies!

WHAT kind of marketing idiots do you have at your companies?

WHY would you create a price structure that is so confusing?

WHY are you trying to be shady? I am trying to have a business relationship with your company and you treat me like a friggin moron.

COMCAST! when I call you later today. I hope you are ready.

That poor person on the other line is not gonna know how to handle my onslaught of crazy questions fueled by my disdain of the hype machine.

I AM SICK OF BEING FUCKED IN THE ASS by the BIG BLACK DILDO that is the AMERICAN CORPORATE HYPE MACHINE!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!